Thursday, May 10, 2007

You can't make an omlette without ...

... breaking eggs. Or in this case, ovaries.

I always hoped I would find a reason to blog this picture - the bizarre result of trying to poach an egg so fresh that it's still warm when you crack it.

For some reason, any time I think about my own egg-production department, I imagine a couple of hard boiled eggs.

My egg-makers have been on the blink for a good while now. The kind of blink that's exquisitely painful at times, and rather dull and boringly uncomfortable in between.

2 years ago I had a fairly interesting lump on one egg-factory. At the time they thought it was a teratoma - a rather exciting kind of tumour that's all hair and teeth and nails - which my friends referred to as my "supermodel" for the few weeks between diagnosis and removal. Anyway, it turned out to be a far more boring complex hemorrhagic cyst. A big scab with veins basically. Ewwwwwwww.

Since then I've grown a fair few more of these little babies, though none as spectacular as the first one. One of the more interesting (ha ha) aspects of these cysts is that they form in the 'corpus luteum' - the shell of the egg once it has been released. They're supposed to dissolve unless you get up the spout - corpus luteums make progesterone - running this part of an early pregnancy until the placenta is big enough to take over. So, sometimes my body thinks I am pregnant.

That might be kind of fun if it lead to interesting symptoms like only being able to eat pickled onion monster munch, and having enormous breasts, but sadly it just gives me random nausea, and, much to my doc's fascination, a linea nigra - a line of pigment from the navel vertically down. They are quite impressed with that aspect!

Anyway, yesterday I had the lovely lovely doctors, nurses and surgeons at Royal Surrey Hospital sort me out, hopefully once and for all. They detached my hardboiled eggs from my bowel which they were stuck to, and from the abdominal muscle on one side too. They've drained one cyst, lasered my ovaries to remove scar tissue and treat polycystic cysts (technically you can't have both little cysts from PCO and big cysts like I get, but I've never been one for following the rules) and they've done something called segmentation which basically gives you more surface area to expand over so the remaining scar tissue gets stretched less. You wanted to know all that, didn't you!

There was no magic computer this time! Pants! But I managed to hook up a java app on my phone to chat, though drug-addled and one thumbed on a text pad it was kind of frustrating, but it was absolutely invaluable to have a virtual visit from lovely Ms M last night.

So, I'm not long home. Feeling pretty rubbish, and a bit spaced out from morphine (they were reluctant to let me out with it, but I couldn't stick another day of no blogging ;) ) and sporting a lovely badge courtesy of lovely Badger!

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Blogger Böbø said...

Hi Stray darling. Glad you're out and your egg-plumbing is all MOTed and slapped up right.

Obviously as a man I've completely forgotten the entire post of lovingly retold womanly icky things.

Perhaps if you'd put tomato sauce on the poached eggs that might of held my attention longer. Gore Good. Medicalistically Complex Bad

But I love Badger's badge. Love it. Awww.

++YaY!++ I'm 1st

10 May, 2007 12:27  
Blogger Caroline said...

Oh sweetie. Hugs hugs hugs x
Glad you're home and I love your badge.

The whole egg image has been most upsetting. You must never never ever eat another egg again. Ever. Please.

Hope to chat later.

10 May, 2007 14:40  
Blogger sheepish said...

Gosh you sure no how to have fun!!!!
Seriously, hope you are soon back up and running, as I never know when I might need spoon feeding IT help?
Take it steady, and do avoid scrambled eggs at all costs!!!!

10 May, 2007 15:32  
Blogger Jean said...

Wondrous photo! Please coddle your eggs ( ) and the rest of you.

10 May, 2007 16:06  
Blogger Stray said...

yay! Bobo! You were first! Yes sorry, should have put a girly-ick warning on for you boys and monkeys.

Caroline - hugs hugs hugs to you too! Thank you for your text visiting :) Chatting later would be great. It's a fabulous badge isn't it! But then badger is 85% badge anyway :)

Sheepish - my IT functions are almost as hardwired as breathing, so don't worry - tech support is still available!

Jean - you are sweet! I'd never known the true definition of coddling before. Badger has been attending to my every whim, and I am snuggled on the sofa under a duvet with 2 cats and a dog (at a safe distance! no treading on my tummy!) - and 2 heat packs - that sounds like pretty good coddling to me!


10 May, 2007 17:04  
Blogger Ms Melancholy said...

Well I thought the poached egg looked good enough to eat. I won't be put off my food by gruesome details of women's icky bits being lasered. I am so glad you are home, feeling okay-ish and wearing the lovely badge. (And trust a numbers gal to work out that badger is 85% badge. I was going to check the math but realised that I couldn't.) Catch you later, hon xxx

10 May, 2007 21:49  
Blogger Böbø said...

Ms Mmmmmm, really, Badger is 83.3333333% recurring Badge. Or 5/6th if you'd prefer it as a fraction. Honestly, what were you doing in your maths lessons? You are going to be in so much homework support trouble soon.

Stray perhaps you might do a set of Maths for (Girlie) Therapists posts?

11 May, 2007 08:42  
Blogger That's so pants said...

Hi Stray

Hope you're feeling better.

Did I read my name being invoked in vain?

Love the egg. It looks like the coat of arms of a fairy kingdom.



11 May, 2007 11:47  
Blogger Stray said...

Ms M - you're hard as nails aren't you. Don't let my women's bits put you off a poached chicken period. (That's what they are, really).

Yes, Badger is as Bobo pointed out, more accurately 83.33 recurring percent badge, but I added the extra bit to make her neat and tidy. I think being a recurring number could be quite existentially challenging.

I like your suggestion Bobo - I think I will work on some maths posts for fun this weekend.

Oh! Lovely Ms Pants - I did indeed think of you, in fact I think there was a deeply lodged need to summon you to my blog, which I carefully disguised in there, but I'm glad you got the message.

I like your take on the egg. I shall squint at it through the morphine haze and slip off into fairy kingdoms ...


11 May, 2007 12:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok you'll know who this is from when I tell you that I looked at the picture and I wondered why you had put up a photo of a white Rhino holding a fork ready to eat the sun and a sea horse looking pretty washed out by the rays... all without the aid of morphine and no dogs got hurt in the thinking.
Phone in sink finding friends are always treasured :0)

11 May, 2007 17:37  
Blogger Stray said...

My goodness, lovely Anon - do you think I should enter it for the turner prize? I think I've just missed the shortlist for 2007, but maybe 2008?

What a good place to keep your phone though. Very handy should someone call mid-way through the washing up :)

Thank you for all your help this last few days - you've been invaluable!


11 May, 2007 18:02  
Blogger brumcunian said...

That picture reminded me of an ink blot picture combined with the 'holy images on toast' pictures. Look at it closely. You'll see a baby alien from the film of the same name covering its mouth and laughing on the left. On the right is a warthog giving the 'rising sun' in the centre of the picture the good old one finger salute. Glad you are on the mend mate.

12 May, 2007 01:17  

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