The One-handed Blogging Challenge
Lovely Ms M and I were chatting on google talk the other night, and both attempting to have the conversation with only one hand. She was drinking something lovely, whilst I was doing the classic post-op-must-hold-my-insides-in pose.
We started to play a game of trying to construct the most complex viable reply using only the keys available when touch typing with either your right or left hand.
And so ... I present to you: The One-handed Blogging Challenge.
The objective is to write something meaningful with only the right hand or left hand keys of your keyboard.
On the left side we have: QWERTASDFGZXCVB
On the right side we have: YUIOPHJKLNM
Punctuation will vary according to whether you are using a mac or PC keyboard. I will trust you not to cheat.
Only genuine spellings are acceptable - so "hi m8" is not a valid entry.
Proper nouns are subject to sensible discretion - so names of countries and major cities are kosher, but obscure villages in timbuktu are not.
Poems are definitely allowed :)
You get 1 point per character used. Repetition won't get you more points if it's just silly. Left-hand and right-hand will have separate high scores. If people start playing properly then I shall make a badge to give out as a prize and have a leader-board in my side bar :)
If you think this would work as a meme, tag someone!**
So - I challenge you to: Get started*
----
*Left hand viable
**If you don't, please just look away politely and I'll try not to blush. I'm still a bit painkiller addled and maybe this is only fun if you've not got off your sofa for 3 days.
---
p.s. I am sorry to my very lovely dyslexic bloggy friends for yet another game that is not very easy if your letters get jumbled up. I promise I will come up with a different game soon that has nothing to do with spelling at all. Please email me and tell me what you would like instead if you have any ideas :)
We started to play a game of trying to construct the most complex viable reply using only the keys available when touch typing with either your right or left hand.
And so ... I present to you: The One-handed Blogging Challenge.
The objective is to write something meaningful with only the right hand or left hand keys of your keyboard.
On the left side we have: QWERTASDFGZXCVB
On the right side we have: YUIOPHJKLNM
Punctuation will vary according to whether you are using a mac or PC keyboard. I will trust you not to cheat.
Only genuine spellings are acceptable - so "hi m8" is not a valid entry.
Proper nouns are subject to sensible discretion - so names of countries and major cities are kosher, but obscure villages in timbuktu are not.
Poems are definitely allowed :)
You get 1 point per character used. Repetition won't get you more points if it's just silly. Left-hand and right-hand will have separate high scores. If people start playing properly then I shall make a badge to give out as a prize and have a leader-board in my side bar :)
If you think this would work as a meme, tag someone!**
So - I challenge you to: Get started*
----
*Left hand viable
**If you don't, please just look away politely and I'll try not to blush. I'm still a bit painkiller addled and maybe this is only fun if you've not got off your sofa for 3 days.
---
p.s. I am sorry to my very lovely dyslexic bloggy friends for yet another game that is not very easy if your letters get jumbled up. I promise I will come up with a different game soon that has nothing to do with spelling at all. Please email me and tell me what you would like instead if you have any ideas :)
Labels: game, letters, one-handed blogging challenge, words
posted by Stray at 12:30 AM
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99 Comments:
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
A Badger tastes great battered as a starter! A wasted fat bastard rat farted! Water bad! Beer!
YUIOPHJKLNM
Limp Pink Lupin.
( i must stop drinking at this time of day..........)
OMG! Brum you are scary!
I shall score your longest:
So, on the LHC: A badger tastes great battered as a starter! = 37 points!
I am blown away!
lavenderblue - so lovely to see you here :) And wow, you really got going on the right hand challenge, which is definitely trickier!
Limp Pink Lupin = 13 points!
Seriously seriously impressed! (Now go drink some water, both of you).
Sx
YUIOPHJKLNM
Look...Pink milk pump on mummy. Honk. Yummy. I link lip. No poo.
Brum - you're giving yourself away. Good thing Ms M isn't freudian ;)
Wow - so Look... Pink milk pump on mummy.is 27 points!
I'm doing the leader board now!
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
badge barter berate fasted faster deer fart farts
"As stated at start berate fasted wasted bastard raster deer beer fart gas taste!"
(Watch out for those beer swilling raster deer) :o)
Oops ignore the random string of words. They were just words that I was trying to fit in somehow
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
"A sad bad battered badger stared at tree as wasted fat bears tasted water seated at dam"
You link up phony plummy pink plonk in jumpy july only.
must go and lie down..............
Oh poo link up phony plummy pink plonk in jumpy july you holy oily punk.
Oh pooh link up phony plummy pink plonk in jumpy july you unholy oily limp lumpy punk.
Where has Brummie sloped off to ?
If you are both in the pub I shall spit............
I'll stick to my preferred left hand side :o) I wasn't at the pub. I'm sorting paperwork out and popping on here every now and then for a break. Only one drawer of the filing cabinet left to sort out. Wooo! Anyway...
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
erase erased
Fag "Bert badger" sets fastest ass tease ever as dates bear seated at grass!
Apologies for the use of the word fag. But I couldn't type gay on the left hand side of the keyboard.
Nice one,Brummie........
Brain needs a break......catch you later..don't strain that wrist......
YUIOPHJKLNM
Look on unholy oily punk poo limp nun milk pump pimp.
Hows that for a childish insult ;o)
HeeHee......
Bad Brummie !
a poem from a cack-handed blogger!!
was vexed waster
battered defeated
better dead
jump poppy
saw brave verger
fretted screwed
freed bastard
gag poppy
created was saved
ooh poppy
wow! I'm stunned :)
Sheepish - I love your poem!
Brum and Lavender - I am putting you in the hall of fame! I can hardly add the points up :)
Sx
I said I was cack-handed, "gag" should not have been inthe 8th line as it's left hand not right. Please read "kill" instead of gag.
Sheepish... you cheat. Your poem uses both sides of the keyboard :o)
Can't compete with that, sheepish !
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Wards wart crater face case Fred badgered teased berated as DR sits
Woo hoo! Hall of Fame Mark1 is up. I'm gonna build a snazzier one shortly but wanted to get your creds up asap :)
I'm ultra impressed! Amazed! Lavender you're a genius with your right hand ;)
Sheepish's poem is admissible because the lines individually only use one hand or t'other. That wasn't in the original rules but I have made it a separate category :) Hee!
Sx
Only you hump my yummy milky kinky lump....
we rested a tad sadder
~
grafted
crafted dew
vexed a dear scared badger
braved great rafts
craved red bees wax trees
as cages freed
wafted cares raw
drew stars
~
we grew
I'll get m'coat..........
A barefaced Badger was desexed
a devastated Beaver was erect
scared and sad was Badger
stabbed Beavers erect starved barge beater
as wasted as a dead cat are great dead cats!
Abracadabra!
No no! Lavender you are winnnnnnnning! You are the highest score right-handed :)
Yay!
:)
BADGER! - you are scary!
Oh - I don't know how to score that badger! I think I will make a new category for stories :)
Badger gets ... 338 points! WHAT?
Wow.
Oh fantastic!!! I feel most scared now and don't know whether I dare have a go. Ok.....off to try. I may be gone some time. x
sorry! badger my counter went mad - it's 156 points. Still a FAB score though :)
Oh Stray, I have a problem: in touch typing, the B is typed with the right hand not left. Are we moving over to the left for the purposes of this competition? Or will you declare all entries so far null and void and let me win?
I can only type with one finger....
ah now Ms M, you are obviously using a very old fashioned steam-powered type writer.
B is definitely a left-hand key this century.
Lavenderblue - then your efforts are all the more impressive!
Sx
In July, kinky punk monk (John) join unholy nun (Jill) in unholy union hi-jink up lumpy hill in Hull. Jill pull John (milky). Jill mop up. John kip… John up. Him (John) pump Nun (Jill). John kip. John up. Pony on hill. Oh no! Kinky John pump pony…
…Pink mink on hill. Kinky Kinky. No mop. Hill Yukky. John punk monk kill unholy nun Jill. John kill Pony. John kill pink mink. No nun/mink/pony opinion on unholy punk monk John on hill in Hull. In John opinion, John unholy. John kill John.
But Why?
Goodness me! Goodness me! How do I score this? Erm. It's impressive! There's no disputing that ...
My mother reads this blog!
Let me just have a cup of tea and a think.
*puts kettle on*
Sx
Right. Ms Why, you have used 399 characters.
However, there is a large amount of repetition, and some of your conjugations are suspect to say the least. On the other hand you have made excellent use of the brackets.
Thus, I decree that you may have 200 points, and a hobnob biscuit.
Sx
Oh bugger. I have an OCD. I can't use any punctuation, because technically you need 2 hands even for the exclamation mark. And apparently I learnt to touch type in the style of a 1950s Pittmans secretary, because I do the 'b' with my right hand! ( I really did learn from a Pittmans book from the 50s. )Which means that I just can't use it. Even if the rules allow. (I really do have an ocd, don't I?) Stray, I am trying, really I am. But this may take me some time!
Me too....how long have we got ?
you can have as long as you like lovely lavenderblue - really ... take your time :)
I am going nowhere until at least lunchtime tomorrow ... :)
Sx
Too complicated for me x
I have no idea what is going on. No idea at all.
:(
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Bastard erect Bert badger buggered desexed cats fast as bearded bears battered bat ass faster! Wasted cat wads tasted as dates sat at Berts arse feast! Great taste! Beavers are wasted! Berts rear reddens! Bear\cat\bat\badger wad rests.
You Ok Brummie..........?
I wonder .....what are you drinking then ?
I'll have a bucket or two.
Punk Kiln Jo
my Ho
Ply limp hip lip
on plump milk
No puny yomp
in pink
mm
jump!
D-W, who is as you so rightly said to me, rude...always with a smile though:0)
YUIOPHJKLNM
Homo John - mop up oily pink nun milk pump mojo on mink - kinky
After Brum's last effort I am sticking to poetry. What is he on?
He is scary, can you help Ms M with her OCD?
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Bad `ass battering` bastard gets best rated as sad tears tasted!
I rock the left hand side :o)
haha I'm not scarey. I'm not even drinking. Todays creative filth is sponsored by Richmond Superkings and Coca Cola Zero
Cas, sorry - do come up with a suggestion for a non-wordy game and we will play that next :)
Brum, your unfeasibly rude effort has been entered into the story category, currently sitting second with an outstanding 199 points!
Lovely lavenderblue - what ever he is drinking, don't touch it! Would you believe this boy is trusted with caretaking the mentally unwell people of manchester?
D-W - A fabulous poem, one I shall mull over at great length :) I hope you enjoyed the images yourself, and that you and your Ho, Punk Kiln Jo, are spending a pleasant sunday afternoon.
Brum - I shall have to reassure any blog readers called John that 'homo' is a term of endearment amongst us queers. Phew. Thank goodness we're both gay or I'd be worried about political correctness!
Sheepish - I think you will do well in the poetry section - you clearly have an artistic bent. As for Ms M's OCD, I think she should have a glass of wine and see if that loosens her up. :)
Just updating the Hall of Fame with your combined efforts!
Sx
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Bad `ass batterer` bastard gets best rated as sad tears tasted!
I rock the left hand side :o) - (when I remember there is no 'i' on the left hand side)
Stray !
I am now mentally unwell, thanks to Brummie.
I thought he was busy doing something with his drawers ?
Come to think of it...........
Must try harder
thank you for your kind words x
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
badgers bare tasted fat beaver detracts as erect cat eases!
Just to even it up - a bit of straight filth.
Nice. Very nice.
oh no! Don't fret Lavenderblue - Ms M will be back shortly and she will restore your mental health. I hope. Unless you have OCD, in which case she's probably hopeless ;)
Brum - I am glad you're making an effort not to be too heterophobic. Well done sir.
Sx
As dear Freda fretted "Safe sex was free as a reward!" Sara teased Freda "We were sad!" Vera farted as we grew aware sex was £4235
Wax was added! Fever decreased! We were safe
OMG! Trousers you are a genius!
Your story used 142 characters, and I am awarding you 100 bonus points for the fact that it actually makes sense! 242 points for Trousers! Yay!
Sx
I've got another one on the go but its rather suggestive. Shall I post it?
oh yes trousers - don't you worry! go ahead :)
(Noon) Oh Jim, you jump in, pump my pink milky lip - I'll hump my hip. Oh, you ok? I'll kill you, you kinky monk: I'm no jumky - you puny punk.
Oh dear.........thoroughly indecent, this one. Sorry.
ooops typo - that was supposed to be "junky" - obviously!
A superb effort trousers - at 112 characters, using the much harder right side of the keyboard!
With the 100 bonus points for truly making sense, you're really racking them up :)
Sx
I think I shall start a combined total points score as well, and publish that at the end. With a prize. Oh! This is lots of fun :) Thank you Ms M for thinking it up with me, and thank you all for playing with me when I am boringly stuck on the sofa being poorly!
bloody hell! I am so impresssed. Can i just say, that i haven't come up with anything anywhere near as good, and I am the co-inventor. I am feeling entirely inadequate and may have to retire to sit on the sofa with Stray and do poorly sicky.
Stray,
Great game. Highly addictive. Wonderful excuse to reduce vocabulary, grasp of grammar and level of maturity to that of a three year old. If I ever have an immediate and pressing need to reduce the levels of productivity of people around me, I shall point them to this page.
But xx
(That's Dr Why to you...)
After we saw a few deer we veered far! We saw a bar! Beer ABV 5%! A crate was £15
Dexter was sedate afterwards! We saw a car weave as reverse gears decreased! Rear seat razed a tree! We saved a few beers! We were vexed as we raved at excess!
Get extra beer at a tax free bar at Exeter! A feast!
Car was at a recess!
I'll attempt a non filthy one for a change...
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Fastest batters rewarded as a teased `4` evades Bert! Test bagged! Bert`s face sad! Wet as water sits at grass! Fear! Rage!
YUIOPHJKLNM
Ok nun - you hop + jump in kinky monk milk. Nun: 'no you jump in you lippy kinky monk'. Oh nun - you pull on my puny limp pinky on lumpy hill in Hull? Nun: 'no pumpy pumpy kinky monk punk'. Oh ok I'll hump Jim.
Apologies for the theft of various bits of other peoples attempts. Call it the 'Tarantino entry'... pinching bits of others work and passing it off as a new masterpiece.
A redraft was faxed
3 vast tracts
Ever crazed text
Geese were wet
Ferrets feared debt
Bears were taxed
Warsaw was afeared
Essex was scared
Crewe was stressed
A cast was wedded
Greta was bedded
Tessa was bearded
As we waved
We were arrested
Ever detested
I never did get the hang of poetry.
trousers - you are officially a contender for the 2012 olymics in one-handed blogging! 248 points! Even before your 100 point bonus for making sense - giving you 348 points! WOW! You are unstoppable sir, unstoppable. Do you have a day job? Give it up immediately. And for gods sake boy, get a blog! You can use one hand each day for posting.
Brum - Loving the tarantino remix piece. A very respectable 164 points!
And well done for managing to write anything that's not profane at all. Did it exhaust you?
Sx
omg trousers - you snuck your wonderful poem in. I am moved to tears! You're a bit of a clever pair aren't you? 208 points for a fabulous poem :)
Sx
Oh, I'd love not to be going to the day job tomorrow...
It really does feel weird now typing on a full keyboard (reminds me in an odd way of only being able to chew on one side after having a tooth out, if you get my drift).
And thanks for having me on your blog :)
trousers - it has been an absolute pleasure, not to mention an eduction, to have you :)
Please do come again!
And yes, typing with 2 hands now feels like cheating doesn't it?
Sx
More lefty non porn... (apologies for the string of letters at the start of each of my posts. My tired Brumcunian brain needs it as a reference to remember what letters I can use...
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Fat geese at Warsaw water
Geese were wet
Sagged
Freds cat sat at grass
Geese at water as starter
Grass grazed
A bear sat at tree
as bearded Fred bags garbage waste
Beer tastes fab as bear eats Freds cat
Bert eats bears wasted cat fat
Impressive poem Brum! 188 points and nothing obscene!
I seriously thought we'd be scraping around 20s and 30s with this ... I can't believe how creative you all are :)
Sx
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
TASTE
Bert tastes raw bear fat
Grace eats Geese tw*ts
Fred rates ferrets ass
Badger eats cats
Cats eat ferrets
ferrets eat bats
bats eat rats
Starter at 1235!
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Battered badger!
Fasted Ferret!
Greased Geese!
Bastard bats!
Raster rats!
fart bastards fart!
I was going to do some more but I'm sure I'd just end up having weird dreams.
Makes no sense, but sounds that it should - the perfect blog entry?
"Pop my pilum upon yon plinky monk kop? No, my kin.
You lop my pink muon mop, kill my holly phylum - pin my yolk in my joky mink kiln.
Lo, look! Lily-lip koi link you on my pony mill, you ply my poll in poly-hymn joy.
Polly, my poppy poppin' pink punk, pull my junk hull on yon pinky hill.
Hop, pop, honk, yip, pip, oh join my punk moll in hunky junky pull!
Him, you, my milk-kin. Join in joy."
Oh trousers - I am thinking we'll all be dreaming about "lumpy milk" anyway!
Brum - there is no hope for you. You will never be able to type with 2 hands again :)
Good work though sir! Very skilled.
Sx
Drak - trust you to debut with 313 characters!
No bonus, because as you point out, it is utter gibberish and lacks the carefully crafted meta-narrative of trousers' entry.
Stunning work though.
Sx
Who is trousers? wanna blog-read. Can I score the lowest points ever please? Left hand:
A.
Thats it. I am blinded with everyone's talent and have to go for laughs now. Oh Mysterious Trousers! Show thyself..... in a bloggy way of course.
oh psb - I am afraid that lovely trousers doesn't have a blog. I know, I know, really I do - it's unfathomable. Such a waste.
Some of us live in hope of the fact that maybe trousers has a secret blog that he is simply waiting to reveal.
*sigh*
Eat teas as we dare brave a gaze at deaf bat caves?
Ward ears! Sadder eras wasted dates as fate gazed at gazetteer's feet.
Teabag dregs as waste-water begat a sad taster's tears.
See? We are as a crazed starved feaster, fat as bags, a bad greased dastard.
Grades are faded, grazers are fazed. We eat bread, create great feed, cast gazes at stars.
Stare as brazed seats bear sated beasts as water's waves bear trade barges. We crave beer, see cava as a bad gas. Badges grate at taxed breasts, tears start, dread frets. We are at sea, wet as afeared babes' beds.
An eastern trade breeze staggers waders beards westward.
We state: "Tada! We are saved! Braved staves, beat casters at 'abracadabra's, ate as fast as Dad."
Or "What I did on my holidays".
This one makes sense of a sort - I think - but it is late and I don't know any more..
A bad sad bastard battered badger stared at tree as wasted fat bears tasted water seated at dam
I beat my best score :)
Drak - you terrify me. Seriously.
588 Points + 100 bonus points for the fact that it does indeed tell a story.
Love your title. Omg. What have I done?
Do you think I should start a game show? On tv?
Sx
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
A bad devastated barefaced scared sad desexed bastard battered badger stared at erect tree as wasted fat berarded raster bears tasted water seated at dam
........
My work here is done
Brum - including your correction, you scored a stunning 128 points for a single sentence. Woah.
Sx
Fags were rated as fat!
Far¬fated stars waved after great bears as bats saw saxes faze
¬ started at base sex
¬ were wet
¬ awed
¬ degraded.
Was trade a waste
after water rats ate bats
as tastes abated afar
as bears waved great fazed faxes
as fat cats waded at sea
as we were wasted
as
wet
feet
beat
retreat
as
wet
feet
beat
retreat
I love that Clare. Very good!
I shall add up your points in the morning and add you to the leader board.
Beware (left hand viable) - this game is addictive. I can't be held responsible for what time you go to bed if you don't stop soon ...
;)
Sx
I'll link,
You'll pop in,
Plink my plonk...
Hoho.
(the first one were left, the next one was right)
(they were all supposed to be poems)
You're right, it is.
I was on my way to bed but then I had to come all the way back as I ust had a thought... I don't know whether my definition of left and right letters conform to yours. I have an ergonomic keyboard, you see, with a great schism between letters for the left hand and letters for the right - so I'm just assuming you are using the same division. But here it is, for the record.
Left:
QWERTASDFGZXCVB
Right:
YUIOPHJKLNM
The right is crap for letters, but much better for punctuation.
Bed
Farts
Great.
Oops, that full stop was a cheat. Right, really am going to bed.
A farter gets greatest garters as a ravaged bastard dad!
oh dear.
The wet feet beat retreat one was originally written as a sentence, but the lack of commas was hampering me.
Think of a sentence if you like (cos then it would score 132, I think, and beat Brum...). ;o)
Later on when I get a chance, I'm going to have a go at a story, I think!
Bears tread straw
Rate creates awe
Straw crafted free
Bear stares at a tree
Hoop you plonk;
Join, you honk.
Link in ploy
No hoi-polloi.
And for extra brain-melt: a haiku:
A treat frees readers
Great reads create tears at start
Dread starts are feeders
Mink join up - ho. Pink link, yup.
(I think I should stop now.)
I5HIwS The best blog you have!
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