Friday, May 11, 2007

untitled and untagged

Bzzzz.

3am.

I can feel insects crawling on my skin. The sound of a musical christmas card playing a thin electronic rendition of jingle bells floats in to my ears. I can focus on the tune, pull the notes closer, closer, closer.

Slip-sliding through colour-blinding sparks. Eyes closed or open? Not sure.


I make sense of things a few minutes at a time.

A single task, a solitary process.

My housemate says that taken in 2 or even 10 minute chunks I appear normal. Have appeared normal since a few hours after the operation. I am coherent and clear headed. Talking sense. The chaos only emerges over 30 minutes or an hour. Each individual thing I say is perfectly formed, reasonable, but taken as a whole there is no pattern. My brain is jumping from lily pad to lily pad. Left long enough there is repetition. I cannot follow my own tracks.

I am random numbers, rounded.

I am random numbers, rounded.

Bzzzz.

7 Comments:

Blogger Badger said...

I love the way you can articulate the madness and sensation.

I am sad that your feeling so poorly sick and hope that you can dream of nice things soon.

I am also in no doubt that there is more meaning to this post than my little Badger brain can understand.

x

12 May, 2007 00:38  
Blogger brumcunian said...

after hours 8 work at understand I how feel you a to extent certain. Going I'm bed to now right. Take care dude. x

12 May, 2007 01:08  
Blogger Stray said...

oh Badger - I'm glad my nonsense is making sense of some sort. I don't think your badger brain is little at all, just differently wired. My words must follow different paths - I would be interested to know which ones :)

beautifully done brum - you completely had me for a moment!

Sx

12 May, 2007 01:15  
Blogger Caroline said...

Oh sweetie. Huge hugs. You just 'get on' and you're so clever and lovely. I do hope that it gets easier soon.
x

12 May, 2007 09:02  
Blogger Ms Melancholy said...

I am random numbers rounded

Beautifully described. I hope the worst is over for you hon.

12 May, 2007 09:36  
Blogger Stray said...

Caroline - thank you sweetie :) Your lovely stray-stroking blog tags have been a great tonic!

Ms M - I am glad you understand what that means. I think it is the most accurate self-descriptor I have ever come up with. It made my head fizz.

Sx

12 May, 2007 10:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How beautiful to be a rounded random figure, me I'm just randomly round that never gets to figure or even figures. Beautiful descriptions are always best laid at the feet of beauty even if she is incoherent with pain morphine and lack of sleep. Remember breathing and pace...getting there does not mean you have arrived, rest and recline lots!

12 May, 2007 16:20  

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