Thursday, October 19, 2006

The (f)laws of physics

During an enlightening conversation over lunch yesterday, myself and a few others managed to establish some of the rules that govern how the universe really works.

The missing sock from a pair is the larval form of the wire-coathanger. They apparently crawl off into the wardrobe and up to the clothes rail, where they eventually hatch into an unsolicited garment hanger.

When ball-point pens die, they enter a dark tunnel, at the end of which is the light inside my car glove-box, where their bodies rest for quite some time.


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Anonymous Drak said...

Hmm.. did you know that coat hangers are actually a mid stage form?
Once the sock has become a coat hanger, it nests in a darkened area, like a wardrobe, looking for other coathangers. There are two main sexes of coat hanger - hook in and hook out. When enough sexually active hangers are together they form waht is known as a 'tangle' and rest on the floor of the wardrobe.

This 'tangle' is discarded, where it slowly migrates to an isolated area - often a pond or roadside hedge, where it develops into teh final form, the wire shopping trolley.

These feral trolleys are then rounded up by fearless trolleypersons, inured to danger and prone to hi-vis jackets. The trolleys are herded and corralled and then branded with a supermarket's logo.
Nearly all the UK's shopping trolleys were once wild, which is why some attempt to roam, and many have to be hobbled to tame them.

Though supermarkets have great success breeding coathangers from socks (which they have plenty of), most attempts to breed trolleys in captivity have been singularly unsuccessful, the results are usually stunted, or lack proper handles. Some supermarkets use these freakish 'tame trolleys' for special purposes, but most are condemned to roam the car parks, jealously watching the wild-grown but domesticated trolleys as they roll back and forth..

19 October, 2006 22:22  
Blogger Stray said...

Wow! Thanks Drak - I wasn't aware of the further life stages, but now you've revealed that to me the link is obvious. I'm wondering where the wire baskets fit into this ... some sort of miniature form perhaps? A sort of shetland trolley?

20 October, 2006 12:38  
Blogger Dale said...

Had to read this aloud (and Drak's comment) to my household.

20 October, 2006 16:31  
Blogger Quack said...

How fascinating, it has been pointed out to me by 'Stray' that I push shopping trolleys in a strange way, like a boy would infact.
No wonder,.. its obvious now, its because my sub consious does not know whether the trolley is indeed 'feral' or 'tame', therefore to hold it by the handle would be quite frankly rude when we had only just met, but to lean over it and almost hug guide it is much nicer and woud be less likely to bite me or my shopping.

20 October, 2006 16:50  
Blogger MB said...

This discussion is funny!

20 October, 2006 16:56  
Blogger fiona said...

Perhaps wire baskets are like the little fluffy chicks of the trolley world and that is why there is often a trail of wire baskets held by people, after each fully grown wild Trolley in the supermarket

23 October, 2006 20:16  

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