Monday, June 26, 2006

This is me: 1 of 4

Self-portrait: Window
I was going to say that this image was inspired by the self-portrait marathon over at Crack Skull Bob's, but actually I think provoked would be a more honest description of my reaction.

I didn't intend to take part. In fact the idea made me intensely uncomfortable. I was enjoying it voyeuristically, but found that once the camera was in my hand I couldn't entirely silence the echo of "Who am I?".

So, next time someone asks me Who exactly I think I am, I shall save my breath and point them here.

6 Comments:

Blogger Mary said...

I agree - it is intensely uncomfortable.

I like this. Looking forward to seeing more ....

28 June, 2006 21:54  
Blogger Stray said...

Thanks Mary ... your comment has such perfect timing - Today I was on the verge of giving up trying to do a second! I can't seem to bring myself to put 'me' in the picture.
I am trying to think of a way around this ... and wondering how many other people are struggling with the same problem. Even in my own self-portrait I wonder what right I have to be there! Curious ...

28 June, 2006 23:03  
Blogger g said...

I followed your comments over from Mary's site.

Self-portraits do bring out some strange emotions.

I have been a photographer for many years, so I see the photgraphic image in very strange ways, and I participate in the process of doing photography rather freely.

I actually set up some self-portraits last week, before getting a hair cut, because I wanted to commemorate the "me" I was for the past few years.

He's gone now. Not here any more.

01 July, 2006 02:50  
Blogger Stray said...

thanks g, your comment sparked some rather helpful thoughts, about whether the intense difficulty I have with this project is to do with not wanting to be stopped in time, feeling too much in transition to be product rather than process ... and whether this links with thoughts I had earlier this month about the fuzzy train.

I feel a little like Captain Kirk did when the ship was running on low power and Scotty struggled to beam him up, transitioning in and out of existence ... half present, but not solid.

01 July, 2006 21:41  
Blogger g said...

half present but not solid. wow. what better position to be in when trying to capture an image.

you see, we are only capturing flecks of silver halide on gelatin, or pixels in a file. either way, we are only dots.

just a smudge. never in focus. only direction. never a detail.

yes, that would be difficult, not impossible, to render in a photograph.

it might help to see the process as one of gathering raw materials.

ansel adams used to say that the negative is the score, and the print is the performance.

even in protraiture, you are trying to capture raw materials, which, later, you can play with.

04 July, 2006 21:03  
Blogger Stray said...

either way, we are only dots

that is comforting!

and true on so many levels.

somehow digital does feel less of a commitment than film, and yet more ... more judgemental?

I like the idea though of just gathering resources - picking up pieces and textures to be assembled later.

really, what I would like to do is xray myself. ah ... now that's a thought. shame about the radiation.

04 July, 2006 21:15  

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